Well, my adoring public (I wish), it’s been awhile since I have written, and for that I apologize. Life got a bit chaotic, and I wasn’t expecting it. It started with my cleanse, where for three weeks of my life I gave up eating sweets, dairy, wheat products, meat, alcohol and caffeine, which is no easy feat. Add to that my grandmother, my last grandparent, my grandparent who was there for every family and school function when I was growing up, passed away. I didn’t take it well, and to top it off I, the self-professed emotional eater, had to have a house full of family members for a week, as well my grandmothers wake, where everyone was eating chocolate, ice cream (my grandma’s favorite), going out to eat together and greasy, comfort food, and I had to eat carrots and hummus- I’m still feeling a bit mad at hummus because it didn’t comfort me at all during my time of need.
Needless to say, my dating life suffered during that time. I had a couple dates planned before my life became chaotic, which had to go to the way-side. But, I am happy to report that I have started dating someone, whom I am really smitten over; so much so that I’m not talking about him yet, I don’t want to jinx anything, but I’m feeling very happy, and have only almost ruined it (because of my fear of commitment and of getting hurt) a few times; he’s a very patient man. Don’t worry, I’m saving up lots of stories for you, that I will be sharing eventually.
So, I’ve been reminiscing lately about the dates I’ve had in the past. I remember on a date with Josh, on a rare night when he actually wanted to go out and we had a good time, we were at a bar and discovered our mutual love of people-watching. While we were at the bar we watched a guy about my age, good-looking, come into the bar and look around, like he was meeting someone. A few minutes later a girl came in, approached him, and they shook hands. I immediately knew I was witnessing one of my favorite things to watch- a first date! It didn’t fare well for the guy, I kept wondering what he was saying wrong because he was cute, as was she, but her arms were crossed the whole time, and she barely cracked a smile. Josh and I noticed that when the guy went to the bathroom, the girl checked her phone and laughed, the only time she did that throughout the date. During the hour and a half that they were there, the guy kept leaning into the girl, and she kept backing away. Josh and I had a good time imagining their conversation, and the best part was when the guy went to the bathroom and she asked for the bill, making sure to pay her part of the bill before he returned. Nothing like showing someone you aren’t into them than making sure you owe them nothing, not even the cost of a few drinks. We rushed to the window to see them walk to their cars when they left, and not even a hug was shared. I wondered if it was an online meeting, and he looked nothing like his picture? But he was good-looking, maybe it was bad breath? A high-pitched squeaky voice? I honestly felt horrible for the guy.
It made me recall my worst date, which was probably about 4 years ago, my first ever online meet-up. It might be the reason I am still reluctant to meet people from the Internet. We met at a nice restaurant at the outdoor shopping center close to my house. I immediately noticed that he didn’t look much like his picture. It wasn’t like it was way off, just a case of him only posting pictures that he looked absolutely amazing in, that were perhaps five years old. I don’t remember all of the conversation, but I remember that it oozed with desperation. In fact, not once, but twice during the meal, he went to the restroom and texted me while inside, telling me what a great time he was having, how attracted to me he was, how he hoped we would hang out again, all nice things to say, but from the bathroom? I’ve never been good at rejecting people, so after the meal, when he asked me to go on a walk, I didn’t know how to say no. That is when I realized that he walked like an ape, hunched over, wide range of motion side to side, I was surprised that he didn’t grunt when he was moving. After getting out of that date (which I guess doesn’t sound like the worst experience ever, but wait, it gets better!), he texted me immediately from the car, asking me if I had plans the next day. I told him I was busy, but in the days that followed I would get calls, texts and emails on Facebook from him several times a day. I avoided, which I think is the easiest thing to do, but that just made gorilla-boy more desperate and anxious. Eventually, I just removed him, and that was the end, or so I thought.
Probably about a year later, I got a Facebook request from someone. I saw the name and knew it looked familiar, but my friends know I have a horrible memory, so it wasn’t that big of a deal that I couldn’t remember exactly where I knew him from. I accepted the friend request, and immediately got a message from him. Of course you realize it was gorilla-boy, but I didn’t…yet. I kept the communication open, trying to figure out where I knew him from, but once he told me how much he had liked me, asking what went wrong and would I give him another shot, I was immediately made aware of my mistake. So I did it again; I quit talking to him, I avoided him and I deleted him. Then, again probably a year later, back when I was on a dating site, he showed up, sending me a message, this time just saying “what’s up?”, but the oddest thing was, when I looked at his account, I noticed that instead of just saying “interested in girls”, it instead stated that he was bi-sexual. Very interesting, I wondered if he had run out of girls to go semi-stalker on and had to turn to guys, because he definitely had never mentioned that before. And, right before I got rid of my OkCupid account recently, I got yet another meesage, saying “well, hello again old friend”, but he had deleted his profile shortly after, so I didn’t have to worry about him and how I was going to avoid him this time. I just hope I haven’t run out of guys to meet, so that I don’t have to get really desperate and go out with him again, but how does he keep showing up? Because in my opinion, Gorilla-boy was definitely not Catching Katie material.