After my last post, I recalled that my date with Rod wasn’t actually my first date after my break-up, it was the second one. The first one occurred when I really, truly wasn’t ready to start dating, but I decided to go because, well, why not? I didn’t want to sit around and wait for things to happen to me. But let me back up to the who, what, when, where and how.
It started on a Friday afternoon, two weeks after my break-up. I went out for some day drinks with my dear, dear friend Ray, to get me out of the foggy funk that I had been living in during the weeks prior. It started with a bottle of wine at a café near his house, which turned into beer and pizza at a place down the road, which turned into drinks at the bar where his sister works…you get the picture. So by nine o’clock we were feeling pretty good from our impromptu bar-crawl in downtown Columbus. We decided to walk back to his house, but along the way I decided that I was actually still thirsty and we made one last pit-stop. At that bar Ray and I started chatting up the bartender, including him in some silly debate we were having, which in turn got the two guys sitting to the right of us involved in our convo. Ray and the guy nearest him got into a discussion which left me sitting alone, so I flashed my best smile to the friend of the guy Ray was talking to, and to my surprise (because I was in a depressed slump about having been dumped- you know how it goes- no one will ever like me again, blah blah blah) he walked over to me. He and I hit it off, and were having a great talk, but I thought I had to admit to him that I was going through a breakup, to which he replied that he also recently went through a breakup with his girlfriend of 5 years, which did make me feel a bit comforted. We continued to talk about an hour before we both decided to go our separate ways, Ray and I were headed home and he to more bars. Before he left, he did ask me for my phone number. I was very hesitant to give it to him, going so far as to try to talk him out of wanting my number, but he won out, and I gave it to him. He put it in his phone and immediately called me so I would have his. We said goodbye, and on the walk home with Ray I deleted his number from my phone, stating that it was much too soon for me to even think about hanging out with someone from the opposite sex who could potentially be interested in me. (Ray would probably insist on my mentioning that he did yell at me and told me I was stupid about deleting it- but I’ve always been a deleter, it’s in my blood).
The next day I was again surprised when I got a text from the guy from the bar, but I did reply to him. We texted each other the following day too, which is when he told me he would like to meet up with me. So I did what any rational woman would do- I deleted him instead of responding. But bar guy was persistent and asked me again, and eventually talked me into agreeing. Well, actually Ray told me he would beat me up if I didn’t go, and I asked another friend her opinion about my going out with a guy, I needed to see if it was really too soon for me to go out, but when both my friends told me to go out and live a little, I relented and agreed to meet up with him the next day at 1 for a post-lunch drink. I was thrown off when he suggested that we meet up at the exact spot where my ex and I had first met, but I didn’t want to tell him that I couldn’t meet there and risk having to go into an explanation, so I decided to suck it up and meet him there.
And so there I was, at the bar where I had met my ex, where there were tons of memories, but I was actually having a good time! The conversation was great, he was interesting and funny (and cute) and after a couple drinks we decided to go on a walk. He had a work meeting at 5 and so we couldn’t have too much to drink, so we walked…and walked…and walked. We probably walked the same path around the nearby park 5 times, there was just so much to talk about and we really clicked, so I was disappointed when he told me that he needed to leave so that he could make his meeting on time. I was already starting to wonder if he would want to see me again, when he stated that he really didn’t want our date to end, and he suggested that we meet up again, perhaps to see a movie that very evening. I hesitated in responding, which he noticed, so that is when he came up with a suggestion. Since he knew that I was still going through my breakup and unsure about the whole situation with him, he told me that he would put it all in my hands. If I wanted to see him again, or talk to him again, he would wait for me to contact him. He wouldn’t be calling or texting me again without hearing from me first. I thought it was a really sweet gesture, his not wanting to pressure me, and I really appreciated it. So as I was driving home I decided that I would definitely contact him and see him again. So I grabbed my phone when I arrived home to send him a cute text, when I remembered- I was so sure that the date was gonna be a disaster that I had deleted his number again, right before our date. And because they were iMessages, I couldn’t even look up his number on my phone bill (which Ray had suggested, I hadn’t even thought of that idea). And to this day, the bar guy has kept to his word, I have never heard from him. So who knows what could have been, probably nothing, and maybe it was the universe’s way of telling me that I wasn’t ready to start dating at that point. But either way, I have definitely learned that maybe I shouldn’t be so quick with my deleting obsession. If you’re out there bar guy- I’m sorry!
