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The Set-Up That Never Was

 

Although I have dated a lot, and I have met guys in many ways, I have had very few set-ups of late. This is perhaps because everyone in the world is married and probably more likely because I do often meet people on my own and have never asked to be set up. But, I was really excited when my super good friend Laura decided she was going to set me up. Especially because I was just getting out of an awful relationship (though it was so bad, I’m not sure it can even be called that, relationships imply that two people are in it together, and I was dating probably the most selfish person on earth- but more about him later), and thought it would be great to get my mind on something else. And since Laura is so wonderful and has great taste in people (ahem), I thought for sure this would be great. I was doubtful that he would be into me or this whole set up, because he lives in Tennessee and I am in Ohio, and because he sounded so great, so I was excited when he sent me a friend request and an email on Facebook. Laura was excited too, and urged me to write him back right away.

So, several emails later, the insurance salesman, or the Insurer as I will refer to him now, asked for my phone number. We had decided that we would meet up when he was driving to Ohio to spend Christmas with his family. However, things quickly became difficult because he was traveling with dogs. Thinking I would be safe because of our mutual friend, I finally, after much going back and forth about how and when to meet, suggested he bring his dogs to my house and we could go out. He agreed, and then insinuated that he was going to spend the night. Whoa whoa whoa! I had to go back in my texts and see if I had accidentally sent the message that was misread somehow, but I didn’t see any. But when I told the Insurer that I wasn’t comfortable with him staying overnight, because, after all, he could be a murderer, he quickly got offended and tried to call the whole thing off.

“You’re what we call a flip-flopper”, he texted.

“A what?”

“A flip-flopper, you act all excited to see me, but then you chicken out when it’s time to make it happen”.

I was excited to meet him, but when does that translate to having a guy you don’t know sleeping over at your house? Was I missing something. And clearly this guy didn’t have a sense of humor, and was used to getting his way.

I’m not sure why, I guess I felt bad, but the next day I actually told him that I was considering letting him stay if he needed to (it was a long drive) but it had to be in the guest room and I definitely wasn’t going to hook up. “Why do we need to set limitations?” he asked. He had already gotten upset that I hadn’t driven to Nashville to visit him, that I had joked that he was a potential ax-murderer, but I figured that was a joke- no guy would seriously expect that from a girl he hasn’t met, would he? Surely something must be getting lost in text-translation.

So, my way of answering this problem was, like usual for me, to ignore and let the date pass. Christmas came and went, and I didn’t hear from the Insurer until the day after Christmas.
“Any travel plans for the New Years?”
“Nope, just staying around here” I replied.
“Nashville is just a 5 hour drive”.
I deflected and changed the subject, stating that we could just hang out when he was next in town, around January 10th. He told me that he was completely booked solid and would not have any time to hang out while he was in town. At all. It was then that I made a joke, I needed a deflection.
“That was weird”, he said.
“You seem to not understand my sense of humor” I said to him.
“Well, maybe if you quit trying so hard, you’d be funny” he said.
Did I hear that right? Me? I’m hilarious! This guy didn’t have a clue. This led to my next period of silence with the Insurer.
So that leads us to today, when I got a text from the Insurer.
“I’ve enjoyed watching you blow this”, he wrote. “I could’ve been your sugar daddy, all I want is to find a girl to take care of, but instead I’m deleting you, because you never responded about coming to Tennessee, and I don’t like people who don’t communicate”.
So, this is the end of the Insurer. I don’t know how I’m letting such a catch get away. Are there actually women out there who would have driven the distance to find the right guy? Was I wrong in not taking a chance? But of course, I realize that would have just been the start of a controlling relationship, with a man who doesn’t handle not getting his way, and I need to find someone who is Chasing Katie.

Katie

I'm a teacher, and I have a passion for traveling and experiencing new cultures. People are always asking me about my travels, and about how I am able to do it on a budget.

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4 Comments

  1. Anonymous says:

    Freaking hilarous! How self centered is this guy? So, are you still up for friends setting you up?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Freaking hilarous! How self centered is this guy? So, are you still up for friends setting you up?

  3. Anonymous says:

    The magic 8 ball was asked \”Will Katie get someone\” and the magic 8 replied, \”Without a Doubt\”. That sounds better then a goat.

  4. Anonymous says:

    The magic 8 ball was asked \”Will Katie get someone\” and the magic 8 replied, \”Without a Doubt\”. That sounds better then a goat.

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